Social media is full of ‘funny’ images and memes about gossip we make light of and even laugh about, until the gossip is about us. Then we are suddenly offended and become either defensive or retaliatory, maybe even vindictive, it’s not so funny anymore. If we look at this bad habit properly and see it as the self-destructive, self-defeating, negative behavior that it truly is, and realize participating in it really shows others how emotionally immature we are and how little self-worth we truly have, we
become empowered to change and elevate ourselves to the level we are really meant to live at as God’s highest form of creation on this earth.
Gossip keeps people stuck in a negative, blaming mindset of victim mode and is an exhausting waste of time and energy. It truly is a poor attempt at trying to keep others from seeing personal or professional faults. After all, if we are always talking negatively about someone else, pointing out their mistakes, shortcomings, or faults, we have no time to think of our own need for growth and self-improvement and no one else will notice our faults. We attempt through gossip to keep other people’s focus on someone else. Only people who are very insecure and have little or no inner self worth make gossip a
habit.
Have you ever worked with someone extremely negative that was constantly speaking badly about others to you, yet acting friendly when they came around? We all have, and it is extremely negative and draining and will never bring about success or happiness. So why do we listen to it, or even worse, gossip to others? Because it is a developed bad habit. Think! Babies are not born and the first words they speak something negative or gossip. It is a learned behavior that is widely accepted which has become habitual.
I have found that negative experiences are a necessary part of life and not unhealthy when we use them as they were intended—to warn us we need to correct something. Hearing gossip and carrying gossip to another is a negative feedback signal designed to make us aware we are not on the right track in life. This is a great example, your car, which is equipped much in the same way with negative feedback signals right on the dash that alert you when correction is needed. The gas light comes on, you must find the nearest gas station to avoid a negative result, running out of gas in the middle of a trip. The low oil pressure light comes on, you take the car to a mechanic to correct the issue in order to avoid blowing the motor.
Ignoring negative warning signals in life is even more detrimental than ignoring them in a car because it hinders our ability to continue a progressive realization of our betterment. In real life, gossiping hurts us even more than it does other people as it further destroys our self-image and creates a self-imposed prison of a poor negative attitude. It shows others our how truly immature we are and prevents within us the ability to grow personally and leave others with an impression of increase. In other words, people do not feel better after talking to us, being around us, interacting with us. How our words and actions affect other should always be considered, however, if we evaluate the effect those same words and actions have on us, then have the courage to be honest with ourselves, we understand the need for change.
Our self-image will never improve without awareness and necessary work. Neither is our self-image up to other people nor dictated by circumstances. It is all on us. How we think of ourselves is evident in how we treat other people. We cannot speak poorly of others and expect success in our own life. That violates a law of nature called cause and effect. In other words, the effect of unhappiness in our life is caused by the action of our own negative thoughts and behavior. This is truly empowering once we understand and become aware of the process to correct it and get ourselves back on the right life track.
James Allen, in As A Man Thinketh, wrote in the final chapter, “Self-Control is Strength, Right Thought Is Mastery”, and he was right. Self-control is a true sign of inner maturity, positive self-image, and a healthy mental attitude, and it begins with right thought. This can be developed through awareness, the decision to change, and actions practiced for 30 days until the new habit is formed and automatic, replacing the negative habit, in this case, gossip.
Think again for a moment about these feedback signs and signals. Detour signs, dead end signs, sharp curve signs, and imagine the result if they were not posted for us. Our trip would be delayed if not stopped altogether. Instead of viewing these signals as bad or dismissing them, see them for what they really are, for our benefit. These are in place and meant for us to take corrective action, much like the signs and symptoms of the car we previously discussed.
Earl Nightengale recorded a message called The Magic Word which is about attitude. Our own attitude, not anyone else’s, ours. He points out every person in life desires to be needed, appreciated, respected, and valued, and that it is impossible to succeed in life without others. He is right. When we show others respect, appreciation, value, that is what we are shown. Does that mean you have to like everyone you know, of course not. You also do not have to participate in gossip and negativity. That is a choice.
There is nothing to be gained personally or professionally by being negative. Do not waste valuable time and energy broadcasting your opinion of others or another person’s faults and failures. It cannot help you and will not help anyone else. Remember, we are all God’s highest form of creation on earth, as far as we know, and the only living breathing form of life that has the power to think and choose. We have far more control over our thoughts, our life, our results, our income, our relationships, and ourselves than we think. Once we really get a clear understanding of self-image, where that comes from, and how to improve it, we regain control and begin to live a far better life with better relationships, more contentment, more purpose. Everything improves when you invest in your greatest asset—YOU.
Radiate confidence, a positive healthy self-image, and well being and be a leader that inspires others instead of gossiping. You can do it!
Taking my courses enables you to get where you want to be. Remember, there is only really one investment in life that matters, and that is the investment you make in yourself. Even if we live a long time, life is very short. Do not waste any more of your life being negative. How do you really want to live? I can show you how to get anything you want in your life, with guaranteed results. I know because I have done it myself. I am my own living test subject over and over.
Here is your assignment: Go get your 2 sheets of paper. On the first sheet write out your participation in gossip in all its negativity. Be honest, no one will see this but you, have the courage to be honest with yourself. This will liberate you. Detail how this makes you feel, if you aren’t sure since maybe you have never considered you have a problem with this, think then how you feel when someone disrespects or hurts you with gossip. It doesn’t matter whether it is true info or not. Now, write out how it makes you feel, how it affects others, opinions of other people who do not know who you gossip about, what this truly shows about your character and self-worth, and the negative results it makes in everyone’s life. Then, on the second sheet, write out in complete detail the polar opposite. You could start with something like, “I am so happy and grateful now that I have gained control of my thoughts and actions, and am committed to positive thinking, talking, and acting, finding only the good in others, recognizing other people’s worth, and being an uplifting and respected leader.” Or whatever resonates with you. Make it in the present tense, how you want to be. Now burn the first sheet, while you watch the first sheet burn, mentally let go of that habit. For the next 30 days write your positive sheet and read it to yourself everyday and before bed. Commit to change and watch your world and life improve, growing into…. Your best you!
xoxo
