Happiness is defined in many ways and is relative to the perception of the person defining it. It could mean one thing to you, something different to me, and be totally different to someone else. I believe happiness is native to our minds, something created within in us that is meant to be experienced and expressed.
Think about this, all of theology prescribes joy, gratitude, rejoicing, and cheerfulness as a means toward a good life and righteousness, therefore making it possible to experience happiness a good part of the time. When we are happy, we think better, feel better, are healthier, and motivated to perform better. When we focus on happy and pleasant thoughts, we actually see better, taste and smell better, hear better, and are able to detect finer differences in touch. Our memory improves, our organs work better, and we are more in tune with others.
So how exactly is happiness achieved? I believe every aspect of a successful life including happiness begins with self image. Until we study and understand the self image and realize how it dictates every choice we make, we are unable to truly understand the concept of happiness.
So, what creates our self image? Consider the influences you had growing up, your family, school, friends, the social events you were exposed to, your belief system. Were those influences positive or negative? Did you experience love and acceptance, or anger and animosity? Were the people who raised you supportive? Did they see the good, or were they complaining, gossipping, putting others down, and unsupportive? Were the people in your life involved in positive uplifting activities associating with positive people, or were they filling their minds (and yours) with negativity, ridicule, finger pointing, blaming, and judging? All of those experiences from the time we make our debut on the planet until today build our habits and beliefs that have a big "say" in how we see and respond to life. This is a law, just like how night always follows day or summer always follows spring. The experiences we have from the time we are born until now create our self image. This dictates how we see ourselves, our potential, our capabilities, what we are "supposed" to think and do in life. Those embedded beliefs dictate our thoughts, choices, and actions which are ultimately reflected in our results. Think of generational criminals or generational anything really. People typically repeat what they see, hear, and experience as normal growing up. It is who they think they are.
Ask yourself why some people, despite any situation that comes their way, are always positive and seemingly happy? It seems crazy, right? I have known people like this and have thought to myself, "how can they be so upbeat with this going on?" They have evaluated life as more enjoyable, fulfilling, and rewarding when finding the good in any given situation, and know that type of outlook naturally makes life better, more enjoyable, and more fulfilling. They understand this is always a magnet for people with the same attributes. My Aunt Pat is this way and always has been. No matter what anyone said or did, she always found the good and I never heard her offer criticism or negativity to any conversation!
When we study self development, we begin to understand that our happiness is dictated by how we think. It is in direct coorelation to what we allow ourselves to dwell on, and how we habitually react or respond in life. When we read, listen to, watch news or social media that is happy and positive, we are influenced to behave in like manner. When we associate with positive people who find the good, we attract the same type of people and situations and create days that are bright.
I believe happiness is a mental attitude that can be cultivated and developed. This attitude of happiness is purely internal produced by ideas and thoughts. Forming the habit of happiness by reacting positively to every situation brings favorable solutions and happy feelings.
Happiness is never dependent on something that "happens" to you, rather it is something you do yourself and determine upon. Only you can decide what you think about. Give your primary attention to the good you can see, then close your mind and dismiss destructive thoughts that do not serve you or help anyone else. Do not allow yourself to react to annoyances with anger, dissatisfaction, resentment, irritability, or complaint. That is merely a habit and all habits that produce unwanted results can be replaced with new habits that serve you!
Someone once said, "the best cure for unhappiness is self esteem," and they were right. When you truly love yourself and accept the fact that you are God's highest form of creation on earth, see the worth you were created with, develop your potential, and live out your true purpose, you will be able to love others and find the joy and contentment you long for.
Dismiss the false beliefs that you are not able to be happy because of circumstances. That is a victim mindset that does not serve you. Those thoughts will never bring anything but more of the same! Forever let go of allowing outside events dictate how you feel or think. No longer be a slave to circumstances "obeying" each trigger to react out of habit. Instead make a committed decision to develop new habits. Study your self image and set worthy goals that enable you to become all you were meant to be, do, and have.
Here is your assignment: Commit to allowing no negative thoughts to enter your mind for 30 days. Instead, deliberately focus on pleasant thoughts. This can be done by taking 2 sheets of blank paper. On the first sheet write out in detail how you typically think and react to negative, stressful situations. Write how it makes you feel, how it makes other people around you feel and why you see it does not serve you. On the second sheet of paper, write out the exact opposite, the new way you are committed to thinking and acting in descriptive detail. Take the first sheet and burn it. That's right, BURN IT. Read the second sheet out loud to yoursef for 30 days. Take note of the change in how you feel and think! This works, I have done this numerous times with many subjects.
The second part of the assignment is download Serenity, by James Allen from As A Man Thinketh. Handwrite this for 30 days and read it to yourself. Notice the changes that take place in your life and the effect on the lives of the loved ones around you. If you need to, make this longer than 30 days. However long it takes to embed the message into your subconscious until it becomes a new way of responding and thinking.
Remember, when we change the inside, the outside circumstances of our lives change. Happiness is not a reward of virtue, it is virtue. Happiness does not lie in the future or in circumstance but in the present. You can do this!!
