I am going to do that when I have the money. I will do that when I have the time. I plan to do that when the kids are gone. I know I will do that when I feel better. I am going to do that when.... what?
Do you hate your job, but keep going back because you "have" to? I hear this a lot. You have bills that need paid and have to eat after all, right? There are expectations from family, friends, the boss. You have responsibilities, benefits, success, you tell yourself. So back you go, day after day, week after week, burnt out and hating it. Many people want to tell their boss off, but don't dare, and instead go home and snap at their loved ones and kick the dog. Or they may turn that irritation and anger upon themselves in habits that do not solve the problem, like drinking.
Life is so very short even if we live a long time. We are here for a purpose, and it is not just to work and pay bills then hurry home to get to bed to start it all back over the next day, anesthetizing the unhappiness and loss of meaning in life through drinking or other bad habits that make things worse.
We are here to live our dream, to serve others, and make a positive difference and impact in our own little world. Instead, so often we get caught up in the daily habitual behavior that defines our life, going through every day on auto-pilot wishing things were somehow different, doing what we are "supposed" to do, giving up any hope of change or dreams.
We never stop to contemplate there is a better way. We can choose something different and life can be wonderful, fulfilling, and rewarding. Many times we just don't know where to start, we cannot see the possibilites or our potential. Why? Because we are programmed to live from the outside in. That means everything we think and do is based on what we can see, hear, smell, taste, touch, and feel, or our senses. If we cannot see with our eyes a different solution, a different possibility, then to us it is not there. That is just not true. The truth is there is a better way that we can choose any time, and it all starts inside. Dr. MLK Jr. once said, "You do not have to see the entire staircase to take the first step" and I believe that first step is decision.
Our life and our results are the evidence of what we think. What we think of ourselves, our capabilities, our world, our self-worth, and even what our "norms" are. Our thoughts are seen in our actions which in turn creates our results. Now the truth is some results are great, we like those, right? It is the results we do not like that give us the trouble. We try and we try, we want to do better, hope for a different life, a better job, more money, a better relationship, better health, yet it just never happens.
Lets use a diet for example, since I am pretty certain every single person has been on a diet at some point in life. We want to lose the weight, we are determined to start exercising, we want to feel better, we make a resolution (usually on or around Jan 1). We are off an running. Soon we see that piece of cake, we don't want the results it will give us, we eat it anyway. Then we have one of two conversations in our head. The first is, 'one piece won't matter.' Alcoholics say this about one drink and soon find themselves right back in the same old rut. Soon one piece of cake turns into pizza out with friends, another dessert or whatever, and the next thing you know--off the diet. The second is, 'see, I knew I could not do this', or...'it's just too hard'....'I can't do it'.... again, off the diet. Both are self-defeating rationalizations that are untrue and keep us stuck in the same rut over and over with no lasting change. Why is this? It happens this way for a couple of different reasons. One big reason is as human beings we are habitual in our behavior. In fact, 95% of our behavior is habitual. We go through life doing things without much if any thought. Think about this, when you get up in the morning, you have a routine. You have a routine at work. When you get home after work, again another routine. We go through our days on auto-pilot not even really thinking about what we do. Days turn into nights, weeks fly by, months gone, then years. We wake up one day and say where have all the years gone? What have I really done with my life? Have I made a difference to anyone anywhere? Or, am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? Some of us may have the stark realization, I have lived longer than I could possibly have left. That is when the rubber meets the road.
The other big reason things never change for us is because we do not make the decision to change it. We do not know how to set worthy goals based on what we really want, and instead live the one and only life we have on this earth unhappy, unhealthy, broke, full of anxiety and stress, and unfulfilled with no real purpose, waiting for the weekend to escape. We sit around on social media complaining about everything from politics to homeless animals and waste what precious time we have doing nothing to improve our life or ourself. We think we have no choice, this is how it is supposed to be for us. We tell ourselves lies like that and never change anything, we remain stuck.
So how do we change our circumstances, or any of this? It all starts with our thinking and takes an awareness of what we are thinking about every day. Many great philosophers all down through history have agreed on one thing, we become what we think about all the time. It's true and you do not have to go very far to see how this plays out in the 'real' world. How do you explain someone with degrees off the end of their business card that are broke? Think about people you may know or have heard of that did not even finish high school and are making millions of dollars. How does this happen? It happens because of the thoughts they think, that lead to their decisions, which leads to their actions and produces the results in their lives.
What are your dreams? What do you really want in life? The best advice I have ever been given is this, don't EVER ask anyone else what you should do unless that person has done what you want to do AND will support you. Don't let yourself get to the end of the road, age has suddenly found you, body spent and mind still sharp, wishing you would have done whatever it was you planned to do when__________. You won't be able to go back.
I teach lessons on how to make permanent positive changes in your life that get you where you really want to be. Aren't you tired of hating your job, wishing you had more money, wishing your relationships were better, wishing your health was better, wanting change but not seeing a way? This process works, and I am committed to helping you live your dreams.... before it's too late. Leave your children and grandchildren with a legacy that empowers them to live a positive meaningful life! It all starts with you, as soon as you make the decision.
